my thoughts; lost in my own, or not even mine ?

keno je lage
aaj eka eka
harano ek mon
jeno kono ek kon
shei mon-er kon
kon tar asha
aar tar prapti-icche
hobe ki hobe na?
ache na nei?

aaj-o mone ache
shei din je
3 ghonta daar
koriye-o tok-mishti
bondhutto chilo
aar aaj ache
onek care
onek concern
aar amar torof
theke bhalobasha
oor torof?
she je ekhono-o
'oke' bhalobashe

to amader-dujon-er
ostitvo kothay?
amar mon-e
aar bodha-e oor
kono ek mon-er
kon-e...
shei kon jeta
amar moddhe
bhoda aar
oor ta pete
cheshta
shobshomaye
shobmuhurte
kintu
oke bhalo rekhe
oor bhalo cheye
oor bhalo kore
aar shei koray
ashae aar chaha-e

aaj-o kore jai
oo-i shob
jeta kokhon-o
(aar bodhae aaj-o)
chae amar moddhe
shokal-er hata
shara din-e
ek baar bhaat
thoke eshe
glucon-D khava
online (female) friends
theke cut-off
ma-baba-r shonge
jhogda na kora
lunch khava
meye der opor
theke na dekha
.
..
...
shob kori aaj-o
ashaye je
kokhon-o ashbe
she amar kache
amar bhalobasha
bujhe
shei konodin
ashe amar
jibone jobe,
tobe shei
din-er asha


na ki ami
abaar harbo,
shei shobshomaye-r
moton ekta
mon-er here java
...
..
.
ei baar chai
pete bhalobasha
shara jibon-er
jonne
kintu bhalo
bhabe aar
koshto na
diye

dekhi amar
eei baar kar
kopal
amar shathe thake
naki chole jae
abar shei amar
thekei duur
abar shei bhenge
chur maar kore

dekhi
eei baar
asha kore

revelation in relationship; ami bhujhite perechi tomari kotha

ami bujhite perechi
tomari kotha
jaate bolite tumi
'nijer kheyal rakh,
ami na thakleo'

tomare ami
janitechi aaj
ek debi-r rupe
je amar bhalo-r
jonne boliteche
'ami engaged,
tui ektu bojh'
jaate ami choliya
jai kono onno
bashaye

aaje ami bujhite
parilam je
tumi kheyal rakhicho
nijeke dukkho
diye-o,
ami aar tomar
ei dukkher
karon bonite
paribona

keno ki aaj
ami bujhite parilam
je tomar
bolidan ta koto
bodo...
he debi,
ami shotti dhonno
tomay chine
amar pronam
niyo
aar nijer-o kheyal
rekho

ami thakibo
ashaye,
kintu nirash
na hoye
tomake bhalobashibo,
nijeke theek
rakhibo
ei-ta amar
pron (promise)
shei tomari
mathay haath
rakhiya,

kintu tumi-o
bhule jeona
je jodi kono
dino dorkar
pode,
ami achi
aar thakibo

...

aar (tumi) chaile
konodin phire ashite,
to rohibo ami
haath badae
tomari jonne
jotodin thakibe
ei akaash aar
prithibi ... amar

my thoughts; pained to see her pain

tor chokher jole bhanshlo
kintu shudhu tor noye,
shoto raag-matha gorom kore je
mitlo na chinta-r bishoye ta
'amar-i chinta ta !!'
-jani, tor ei boktobbo
bujhte bolchi na toke
keno ki bojhate aami totpor
koto bujhiye uth-te parbo
sheta norbhor shomaye-r
bojha-bujhi-r opor

kintu shob bhebe chinte-o je
bhabna chadte padi na
mon jokhon mileche
tar por je aar
alada-alada kichu thakena
na thake kichu tomar-amar
bhaga-bhagi je shob
hoye jaye shesh
jodi ki kichu theke jaye
to sheta holo 'amader'
bhalobasha, kheyal, chinta
kanna, hanshi
ek-dujoner jonne;

shob bhaga-bhagi-ei
je bilin hoye jae
'amader' shobdo-tar moddhe
toke ektu holeo
khushi rakhte pedechi,
eita amar shoubhaggo;
kintu jani! ekhono shomaye lagbe
aar aami tar jonne prostut...

my experience; relationship meet - day 02 before meet

shokale uthe-i je
dida-r chobi-r dike
takiye kichu chailam
tar por to uthei
brush kore, jol khava, cha ;
ei shob sharlam
kichu deri bon ke
computer podalam

tarpor abar boshlam
ei lekha niye
jodi shesh kore
uthite padi

eei tor bhabna,
tor shathe ekti
purno din thakbo
shei anondo, shei bhabna
niye mon khub khushi
kintu, eei shomay tao
je jabe chole

my experience; relationship meet - day 01 aftermath

aajo dekh ghum bhanglo
shei shaat taratari
cheye-o deri-obdi
ghum aashena re

thik paanch-shadepaanch
nagad chokh porishkar
kore uthe boshlam
ratre-o ek-du baar
uthechilam jol-teshtaye

jol kheye jeno matha
ke-o korlam khon-er
jonne thanda
'keno tor chokh khullo,
aar mathaye bhabish ki eto...'
- jaani, tor proshno ei,
accha ?! tor ghum hoyechilo ?
hole je shanto korte
perechi ekti mathao

my thoughts; restlessness before and in the meeting-journey

aar parchina opekkhaye
ei gane-o mon
shanto hoye na
keno je deri
kore ei shomaye

kache aashte amader
aar kokhon nijeder
mukh-upolokho hobe
katiye-o othe na
ei shomoy
kothin shomoy
opekkha koracche
ei shomay

kokhon je kete
uthbe, ei shomoy


shokal hoye onek-khun
aar aamar chotpotani-r
aar ek proman pelam
badi theke berobar
aage mobile-charger
newa mathaye asheni
mone holo jeno
niyechi, kitnu
ei dekhlamshe je nei

jaak! ekti danda bhilo
charge-r baaki, kintu
pacchilam na je network;
eei pelam kichukhun aage
ektu shomayer busy jacchilo
to chinta hoye gelo,
kintu ekhon chinta mukto
oor golar awaj shuno...

my thoughts; fight to win love

juddho lode gelam
aaj ek aashaye
shei aashaye shokti
aar tatei lukono
aamar moner mil

juddo-r karon
nijeke proman kora
aar proman dorkar
je oor, jate aamaye
purno rupe mene
nite padbe
aar shathe dorkar
aamar bishshosto
hoye otha


ekhane hoye aashche shondhe
praye shesh ei dinta
aar je baaki kichu ghanta
oor dekha-shakkhat upolokkhe

shei aager (prothom) dekha
oor shathe,
aar tar mukher shorol kintu
raag-raag lukono bhab,
aar shei-diner katano
ooi shomaye je
bondhuder mone ek
tok-mishti shoron
rekhe gelo

aar tar por-er kabbo
to dujoner-i jol-bhat
aar aaj, eei aami
bisshash-e gore tola
ekla ei pothe...