my thoughts; love as selfless and caring

indu-e shuru aar
shesh aajo
amar ei prithibi
aar aakash

mone aar taare
rakhilo aemon
jaemon ornoye-r
gobhire uthe
bodo howa ek
choto pata
jake aakash
aar prithibi
nijer aadore
kore tulbe ek
bodo gaach

shei gaache-r
moton je mon
rakhilo taare
shei nirbhik
shishur moton
jotno nilo taar
aar bhabilo na
je bodo hoye
gaacher moton
ki goromer taap
theke amay
bachiye rakhbe
naaki
gaacher dali te
bosha paakhir
moton
shomay pelei
ude chole jabe
?
>
-


'?' je ei proshno
chinho thake
shara-kkhun matha-e
'>' aar aage bedhe
jabar shokti-o
peye jaye,
shei oor theke-i
'-' emono mone hoye
je theme thakle-i
ki shob thambe


to aaj keno na
ami nijer mon-er
daak shuni... ?
mon je bole
shetai mene choli ?
keno na ami aaj
ei bhalobasha ke
pete aage badhi,
nijer aador-e
nijer kheyal-e
nijer bhalobasha-ye
okeo bhalobashai ?
keno na aaj ami
ei shob maante
raji hoi... ?

aar eto kichu je
okarone noye
kenoki taar shaathe
nijer jibon-er
bhobishho dekhechi
aar bhobisshot
dekhar pechone
karon holo
mon-er mil
eto din ja
khujechi
baerthota-e
take pelam aaj
kintu tao
podikkha
hobe dite
shei taar bishaash
jite nebar hole
korte hobe
shamortho nijer
jodi hoi dite
ooke ashbashon
je ami achi
aar thakbo
chole jabo na
na aaj
na kal
aar na er por
kokhono-o
aar
pete gele oor
bhalobasha

my thoughts; relationship motivating and inspiring

shudhui ki aar bhabna!
tahole je mite jeto khone
aar shesh hoye jeto
bae-mone

hoyeni! keno ki
bishash-e gore tola
bhobisshot niye toke
aar shei bhobisshot-e
emon ek shokti ache
je ei bortoman ke
asha dei je
ashbe! bhaba bhobisshot-o!
chai jodi kichu taare
sheta holo giye
shudhu cheshta
mon-e, pran-e,
kortob-be,
aar shob kichu
niye ei bhabna-e

aageo mone hoyechilo
kintu kokhono eto
probol asha paini
aar er aage kono-o
asha te eto shokti paini
je shokti diye
ami nijer bortoman
take gore tulchi
jate bhobisshot
ta purno hok.
ei eto, eto bisshash
eke je bojhano kothin;
tai nije mani
aar bojhai na kaukeo

ashchi re, aschi
dekha korte tor shathe
tor mone nijer
jonne jayega banate
aar tor purno
bisshash prapto korte
ashchi, aschi.
toke chada chokhe
ondhokar je
shei ondhokar take
duur korte
tor shahajjo chai
puro jiboner jonne
aar ei asha tei
aaj-o shokti pai
tor kotha mene nebar
jate tor kache
aaste aaste
nijeke gore tulte
padi,
tor moner moddhe
ekta nijer jonne
jayega jekhani
shudhu aami thakbo!

aar tor ei
possesive-ness ta
dekhte dekhte
amar moddhe-o
chole ashlo...
dekhli!
tor koto bodo
probhab amar opore
asha kori,
eei emni bhabe-i
thakbe...
aar tui eshe porbi
amar shathe
amar jibone
amar hoye

amar kheyal; corporate-e ojano jala

ki je korar ache
aar ki je nei
eita bhebheo
labh nei
kenoki aaj
korar kaaj tao
korte badha pode
aar karone
ooi aek
...
taaka!

shudhu matro
ei aek mulye
hoye uthche na
korar icche ta purno,
eto diner kaaj-e
oto shob
bhalo koreo
aaj jeno kaaj-er
mulyo-te
byarthota mone hoe

nijer mon aar pran-o
kaaj lagano
aar tar pore
kaaj-er pholer prapti
na howa,
aar shetao du du
baar ghote gawa;
er-che beshi
aar mon bodhae
bhenge podte pade na
je aaj jokhon
ekhane shesh din
to hathe taaka neyi

ache to shudhu
ashwashon aar
kotha dewa
jegulo shunle
mone hoye kaaj-er,
kintu din jawa te
jana jaye je
shompurnotoho baertho-boka.
keno je mone kore
shudhu kaaj korar jonne
boshi aamra
aar taka-r baepare
aeriye jawa ta
eder roj-er shobhab

jaak-ge!
aar bolte padi ne
mukh ta je theto
hoye gelo
aar mon-e aaro
kharap laglo
keno ki aaj
jake kache pabar icche
taake kache dekha korar
jabar upolokkhe-o
taka kom podlo


emon kaaj-er jaegaye
jeno aar keu na ashuk,
erao bujhuk je
taka na pele
moddhobikto-ra
jibone-r shamannotoho
khorcha aar icche
purno korata
koto tai oshombhob
hoye darae...

jodi kono din
eita bhujbe era
...
nirashaye bolar
aar je shobdo
amar shesh
keno ki
roye gelo
shudhu
khaali ashwashon
aar baertho-boka

my thoughts; relationship awakening but . . .

went too far 

not with my legs

but in my mind

and heart

and paid its price

thought too far

thought too much

couldnt control 

the emotions 

getting bathed 

with care and love

that it had 

awaited for since

long even though

my current was 

'reportedly' 

with me ... 

since the current 

only was of 

sincerity much,

or so i thought

but sincere enough

doesn't help if 

it lacks care 

and lacks 

to show it

had thought of 

clearing the air

with my current

...

that too when 

the recent didnt

make any promise

...

today shaken 

once again i 

might be, 

but will not 

detract me 

from resigning 

and clearing 

as thought of

i will

and yes 

i will

clear the air 

with my current

...

i know not

what awaits with

the recent

as even recent's

bogged out with

her present 

and is trying

hard to make-up

and be sure 

of either me

or her current

...

but i will n

yes i will

clear the air

but this time

i do it for 

me

myself

my sanity

before it may

really take 

the turn it 

may choose

then lets c,

what really awaits

>

>

>

R E A L L Y - 

one of current's 

pet wordings

>

and even now 

i get reminded,

R E A L L Y's

had a far-reaching

impact, 

i deny not

and yes 

i have liking 

...

deep

and far

...

with care

and concern

to bathe

---

and so from 

here on i choose 

to clear the 

air and stay as 

i am rite now,

trying to be 

forcibly without any 

'sincere only' 

from current

and

already in pain

being boundary-ied

by recent 

to make her 

sure decision

lets c

how do i fare

coz at its face

even dis time

i want my recent

but only when

she's sure

would she really

be MY recent

n so for now 

only recent 

she takes her 

title

wish for recent

to really be 

MINE

.

Un-Hindered

..

For-real

...

With-Her-Mind

For-Always

ME-and-Her

....

for this 

i await

reader may choose 

to disembark

and call it 

another 'one-shot' off

but i await

n yes i await

wid all my heart

my soul

my patience

my pain

my endurance

and

myself wholly

i await

.

..

...

....

.....

......

my thoughts; relationship awakening

aaj ek naya abhaas hua
jo janm le chuka tha
kuch dino pehle
aaj wo bada hua
aur mastishk mein
apni upaj bana
raha hain

ab tak jise rishta
manta tha
sab ke kehne ke
bawajud bhi
sabr rakha tha
ab wahi lag raha
hain ek bhram
bhram ek asha ka
ke badlega
wo shaqs bhi
aur usi bhram
mein ruka hua tha
ab tak

par ab shayad
aur nahi
ab sabr ka baandh
tootne ke kagar
par hain
aur isse pehle
ke wo toot jaye
aur kisi
anarth ko le aaye
socha hain
ke khud hi
ye kadam aage badhaun
aur keh do ke
bas! ab mujhme
himmat nahi rahi
aur sabr rakhna
ka ...
ke tujhe kisi
roop ke praroop
na kar paaya ke
tu mujhse bhi zyada
samjhe,
pyaar kare ...
to bas, ab
tu azaad hain
is bandhan se ...
(aur shayad ye
bandhan bhi main hi
maanta raha hun,
to phir ye kaisa
bandhan ?)

khaer,
jis anubhuti ke rehte
ye sambhav ho paaya
wo bhi kahin na kahin
isi se jura hain
kisi ko kuch palon
ke paakar,
jo mujhe mujhse bhi
zyada samjha,
zyada pyaar kiya ...
par tha majboor
khud ke pyaar
ke liye jo kisi
aur ka hokar bhi
samay ke chakravyuh
mein kam hota ja
raha tha
...
jisse mila pehle,
dosti hue phir
aur saath hi hui
shuru uski samasyaon
ka chintan-manan
aur samadhan ki khoj
jisse ki dosti
par bharosa rehne laga

gyat the dono hi
ek doosre ki
zindagi se
gyat thi un zindagiyon
ki unjhalon ka
shayad isi se
paas aaye ...
par paas rehte bhi
to kab tak
aakhir kaar
samay ka chakyavyuh
phi palta
aur ant se shuru
ki taraf badh chala
jisse hua mushkil
us shaqs ka saath
rehna
kyunki nayya ek ho
sawar insaan bhi
mansik roop mein
santulit rehta hain

isiliye phir se
ban gaya hun
aaj use shaqs ka
dost aur
samadhan-khoji

par bahut kuch
samjhaya is pal
ke anubhav ne
aur shayad khud
ko bhram se
bahar nikalne
ki shakti de paaya

abhi kaam adhoora hain
bhram se bahar nikalne
ki is atoot soch ko
haqeeqat mein
parivartit karna hain
tabhi safal hogi
ye seekh
zindagi ki seekh

my thoughts; betrayal

is khushi mein najane
ye mann kyun dukhi
rehne laga

najane kyun is sukh
ki prapti ke baad bhi
ajeeb si mayusi bas gayi
hain is dil mein

ummeed se shayad kahin
dhokhe ka asaar dikh
raha hain
tabhi shayad dil
mein khushi se zyada
wo zara sa gam
haavi ho chala hain

ab tareek nikal-jaane
ke baad umeed
bhi kitne der
tak sans le
kyunki bharose ka
sawaal utha to
tareek tak ummeed thi
ab wo ummeed bhi
gum hoti nazar
aa rahi hain, aur
aise mein mann
sirf soch raha hain
ke khushi ke saath
mayusi ka ye
kaisa ajeeb sammelan
hain

aur is sammelan ke chalte
khud ko is chinta se
duur rakh paana
mushkil hain ke kab
safal hogi wo ummeed
ya phir kab poora
hoga iska naya
praroop
jaate jaate ummeed
se bekar ho chali
hain ye safar
aur fir kabhi
kisi mod par
mulaqat ho bhi jaye
to nazar pher kar
chal dunga
kyunki ummeed aaj
bekaar hoti nazar
aa rahi hain

phir bhale hi ye
ummeed poori ho
par samay ke baad
zarurat bekar ho jaati
ye zaruat poori ho
bhi to ummeed ke
dhokha ka asar to
zindagi bhar rehta
hain

kehte hain ke
jaane wale ko
kaun rok saka hain
ab iske saath
ek aur joda jayega
jaane wale ke
saath ummeed ka
dhokha sabse bada
shraap hain
us dhokhe ke liye
kyunki dil se
nikli aah
kabhi bhi khali
nahi jaati