Sunday, April 18, 2010

my thoughts; relationship awakening but . . .


went too far 
not with my legs
but in my mind
and heart
and paid its price

thought too far
thought too much
couldnt control 
the emotions 
getting bathed 
with care and love
that it had 
awaited for since
long even though
my current was 
'reportedly' 
with me ... 
since the current 
only was of 
sincerity much,
or so i thought
but sincere enough
doesn't help if 
it lacks care 
and lacks 
to show it

had thought of 
clearing the air
with my current
...
that too when 
the recent didnt
make any promise
...
today shaken 
once again i 
might be, 
but will not 
detract me 
from resigning 
and clearing 
as thought of

i will
and yes 
i will
clear the air 
with my current
...
i know not
what awaits with
the recent
as even recent's
bogged out with
her present 
and is trying
hard to make-up
and be sure 
of either me
or her current
...
but i will n
yes i will
clear the air
but this time
i do it for 
me
myself
my sanity
before it may
really take 
the turn it 
may choose

then lets c,
what really awaits

>
>
>

R E A L L Y - 
one of current's 
pet wordings

>

and even now 
i get reminded,
R E A L L Y's
had a far-reaching
impact, 
i deny not
and yes 
i have liking 
...
deep
and far
...
with care
and concern
to bathe
---

and so from 
here on i choose 
to clear the 
air and stay as 
i am rite now,
trying to be 
forcibly without any 
'sincere only' 
from current
and
already in pain
being boundary-ied
by recent 
to make her 
sure decision


lets c
how do i fare
coz at its face
even dis time
i want my recent
but only when
she's sure
would she really
be MY recent
n so for now 
only recent 
she takes her 
title
wish for recent
to really be 
MINE
.
Un-Hindered
..
For-real
...
With-Her-Mind
For-Always
ME-and-Her
....
for this 
i await


reader may choose 
to disembark
and call it 
another 'one-shot' off
but i await
n yes i await
wid all my heart
my soul
my patience
my pain
my endurance
and
myself wholly


i await
.
..
...
....
.....
......

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