my experience; ode to pursual and failure

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well, by now its
been tamed by
her sweet voice
in the morning
but last nite's
wasnt such a
candy-walk either

time and again
have the 'issues'
been brought up
and as always
been discussed with
much importance and
clarity as to what
stands and what not

but again, time has
witnessed the never
ending passion with
which I pursue her,
with the whole of
myself in every
care and concern;
havent you, o greatest?

and like always,
all my efforts stand
washed away by her
one negativity and
subsequent multiples
though immaterial,
but the pinch that hurts
is her inability to
understand the need
that asks to support
me in this endeavour,
for all I ask is to
side-away the negative
and harbor thats more
positive and motivating;
is that too much
that I ask for?

I am her good company
am her independence
am her support
am her care and concern
am her favorable life,
but am NOT. . .
yes, am NOT
her love, am NOT;
- repeated are these
words of reality,
shoved into my
ears and soul as if
chunks of burning
coal has been gulped
by a throat which
can only yelp in pain
and even after such
the negativities dont
cease to rise their
thorns and pin me
down with things
that may be eased off
with a li'l support

have bought the books
she'd wished for, to the
extent that mine fell less
in numbers to the ones
bought for her;
and I am sure that
she'd like these to read
for my whole attention
was to select the best
for her keeping in mind
the budget and some
to be left for mine.
But even as now when
I see the list of order,
I cant help but feel great
that she'll have some
good literary friends
to give her company,
something which she
could thoroughly enjoy
and reap benefits as
of vocabulary and
writing style of authors